In the future we'll all be gay
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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