butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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