I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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