You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
