I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
