So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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