I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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