idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
