i don't plan on having that self control this summer
someone get that fucking seahorse.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
