So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
