Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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