and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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