It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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