walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
