Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
