i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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