Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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