just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
