I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
