if you like me you must not know who I am
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
