You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
