if only i could text you this smell
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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