my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
