There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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