Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
