GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
