so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize