he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
