Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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