It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
