Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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