'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
