would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
