Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
