I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
