You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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