i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
