you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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