I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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