we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
