singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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