I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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