So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
