I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
