One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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