Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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