Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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