I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
