im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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