We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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