M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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