how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
