yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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