i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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