He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
