i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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